You asked and Ms. Unique has answered. Below are answers to the most frequently asked questions:
Ms. Unique: You didn't say how long you've been together, so I'll give you the best answer I can. First, the simplest way would be to come up with something for the two of you to do during the weekend, sometimes, and ask him. Men forget that they have to keep chasing us. He has probably put his best foot forward, thinks he has you, and he feels okay with putting you on the shelf for a minute. His actions may be a little selfish, but his intentions are probably innocent. Another thing you can do is make sure he knows that you will be out with your girlfriends while he is out with his friends. It sounds like he thinks you are sitting at home while he is out living his life. Whatever, he is doing, be sure to live your life, too. Your relationship is not all about him, so be sure to find your joy. Hope this helps.
Question: Help! I really need to loose weight. My boyfriend is always making fat jokes or always making comments to me about how good other women look. I need to loose about 20 pounds and then he will stop making those jokes and comments that really make me feel self-conscious. Any suggestions on what to do?
Ms. Unique: Loosing weight is not about your boyfriend. Yes, outside factors can motivate us to want to change, but change on the inside or outside is all about an individuals choice. If you look in the mirror and like what you see, do not change a thing. If you don't like what you see, then start to work on you, but do it for you. Visit our "all about you" section of the sisterslovinglife.com website and get information from E-diet.com, but do it for you. As for your boyfriend, he does sound a little critical and insensitive. Look to those friends who encourage you. If you don't have any friends like that, get some. In the meantime, say encouraging things, out loud, to yourself. You are responsible for building your confidence, your self-esteem, and creating the life you deserve.
Ms. Unique:
Be Inspired
Visit this site weekly for new words of inspiration. If you have an inspirational poem, quote, or short story you would like to share, please send it to us. Here are this weeks inspirational readings:
Spread Your Wings Close your eyes, open your heart
concentrate hard, get ready to start.
It is almost time to lift off and fly.
Believe in yourself and you'll fly very high.
Open your wings, spread them out
This is what flying is all about.
I know you can make it through this test.
Come on now. Do your best.
Now that you can fly and soar,
you can enter that successful door.
You've spread your wings and lifted your voice.
It's now time for others to make the same choice.
Real Women Have Curves
By Anonymous
Real women have curves, wrinkles, and flaws.
Each one earned with experience, perseverance and determination.
There's no computer to airbrush your mistakes.
Let them make you who you are. Love every mark, every scar, every extra curve you wished to go away,
Accept what you can't learn to love,
Then let go of what you can't accept.
Treasure them for their memories
Like a worn love letter or ratty old quilt from generations of old.
Each wrinkle comes with the wisdom only years of life can give.
And life is not to be hidden or covered up.
For life is how a girl grows into a woman
And real women have curves.
PERFECTION
From my feet to my hands
I look for perfection through and through
I cannot find it, what am I to do?
As I sit and think with much despondence
I wonder sadly, how can I get beyond this?
For others appeared to be more perfect than me.
I wanted to be more like them, you see.
So the more I tried, I became even sadder.
There was no solution to this heart wrenching matter.
Then one night I fell into a deep sleep
And dreamed a dream I must repeat.
I looked to the sky and saw the answer
A simple solution to this perfection matter.
The clouds wrote to me across the sky:
Here’s the answer you’ve been seeking by and by.
To find perfection, there is only one thing to do
And that my friend, is to just be you. PAIN If you happen to have someone, who’s a thorn in your side. Maybe he was sent by God, to be your mortal guide. When you seem to despise those ugly things he can do. Look a little closer, those ugly things may be in you. So make the change and understand, that you will always gain. Then a better life will come your way, DREAMS When you’re sitting all alone and You don’t know what to do, Dream a wonderful dream, it Just might come true. Think of your prince charming Never be afraid Visualize a castle or a pool, in Which to wade. See a winning wonder in Everything you do. Dream a wonderful dream, it Just might come true.
and eliminate all your pain.
Thank you for Sharing
Here is the news about your exciting dates, new loves, fun things to do with your girlfriends, while you are waiting for that special guy to show up, or if you just want to give the guy your with a break or if it is just a time for some girl friend time. You don't want to neglect your friends just because you are in a relationship. If the relationship doesn't work out for whatever reason, you will need those same friends to console you. Besides, it is good to give him a break from you, that way he will want you more. To share your ideas, click here.
Seen or heard any television or radio shows that sends the wrong message about women? For example, shows that portray all African-American women as "the angry black woman" or "the rude, sassy woman" with the bad attitude are prevalent. Real women don't have bad attitudes and swinging necks, because they are a certain skin color. It is important that we create an awareness about how television and other media entities portray women. This isn't about how the world views us, it is about how we view ourselves and it is about taking control of how we are viewed. Share what you have seen on this site, so others can be made aware. If you have daughters maybe you will want to take some time to explain that this is not how all black women are and that the behavior is not acceptable or maybe stop watching the show all together. Check back, to see who deserves a "thump on the head" because they need a reality check or see who has earned a well deserved "thumbs up" for portraying African-American women in a respectable, sexy (not tacky), and classy manner. Don't get us wrong, there is nothing wrong with a little "sassy" behavior in the name of comedy, but there needs to be some balance.
A thumbs up goes to the Lifetime Channel for the Sherri Show. The show is funny, full of wit and charm and all the women all sporty, super sharp, likeable and even though things can be a little chaotic on the show, those women really have it together and Sherri Shepherd and her co-stars, especially, Tammy Townsend are awesome. 
A thump on the head goes to Loni Loved (actor/commedian) who was one of the features on 30 Best and Worst Beach Bodies on the E Channel for dissing Star Jones. No matter what, sisters should find something nice to say about each other. Even if it is a show that is about the best and the worst. If a sister is the on the worst list, and another sister is commenting, we should try to keep it light. We take enough beatings from the media. 
Thumbs up to the Wendy Williams Show. Wendy gives a whole new meaning to keeping it real. She knows how to keep it real and be classy at the same time. Her show is informative and entertaining. 
Serious "thumbs down" to the makes of the movie G.I. Joe/ Rise of the Cobra. This movie was action packed and it really catered to the imagination, but what happend to a part for an African-American woman or any other woman of color for that matter. Are you telling us there are no "tough", "kick butt" actresses of color, who could not have made the cut? Hopefully, things will be different in the sequel, if there is a sequel. Divorce can leave you feeling full of guilt and like a failure, not just at a relationship, but in other areas of your life. For example, if you have children you may feel as though you have let them down, other family members and some friends. Even though you are divorced and life might not be feeling so good for you right now, do not worry, there is life after divorce. There are some tips below:
1. If you want a better future, you must let go of the past. You have to make a space for the new things and new people that you want to come into your life. Letting go is sometimes much easier said than done. No matter who left whom, work on forgiving yourself. One of the key components in letting go is to allow yourself to be angry, sad, hurt or any emotion that you choose to feel. The point is to feel. Getting a divorce can lead to a feeling of grief, so if you must have a grieving period, then have at it. Simply keep in mind that eventually you must be about the business of living and getting the life you deserve.
2. It is okay to trust yourself. A divorce does not mean that there is something wrong with you and that you can not handle your life. What does it mean? It may mean this is your time to learn more about who the real you might be. When you find the real you, you learn to trust yourself and that builds a strong feeling of security.
3. Affirm what is going right in your life everyday. As well as what you have done to make good things happen for yourself. When you consistently think negative, you are giving away your power.
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4. Write in your Journal. Take sometime to write about your feelings. Write down any thoughts you need to work through. No matter what you write, just write, until you write your way to emotional freedom.
More Life After Divorce:
There are several personal concerns that really should be ironed out before we're in the best position to tackle a relationship that could get serious. Here are some reasons to take it easy the first year, if you are an ex-spouse:
1. You're still on an emotional roller-coaster.
2. You may be confused.
3. You have need for self-care.
4. Multiple changes in your life are taking up your attention.
5. You may be trying to re-order your priorities in life.
6. Your family healing needs attention.
7. Your finances may have changed and that may make a difference.
8. Your work concerns maybe all the extra pressure you can handle.
Relationships - even light-hearted ones - take time and energy. Start out by attending parties, socializing in groups, and attend a fe dinners, but not yet getting emotionally involved with one person. Learning to enjoy your own company and casual socializing first, helps build a stronger foundation for a possible future partenership. As the months go by and healing takes place, you will feel confidence in your new identity rising.
Life Gives Us Lessons - Getting Better for the Next Relationship
Remember that everything that happened to you growing up and in your past relationships was in service to the person you are becoming. Your past was designed to teach, strengthen and show you the places where you needed to grow. Here are a few tips to help:
1. Make a list of the good qualities you saw in your parents.
2. Make a list of the qualities you did not like in your parents.
3. Make a list of good qualities in your partner.
4. Make a list of the qualities you do not like in your partner.
5. Compare your lists and connect the attributes that are similar for both your parents and your partner.
6. Circle those things in your parents that you currently see in yourself.
If you are not currently in a relatonship, use the last partner that you were in a relationship with and you will still learn a lot about yourself.
Letting Go of Pain and Anger
Holding on to anger, pain, and negative emotions from the pst can even hurt your body; it ties up energy and contributes to depression and physical ailments. Here are few tips tht may help:
1. Bring your old wounds into the present day and do something about them.
2. Step in front of the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes and allow yourself to accept that the past is over.
3. Become aware of childhood issues when they are triggered by different situations, especially those that involve(d) your partner.
4. What you don't give energy to will wane, so try tolerating the bad feelings and let them work themselves out without attempting to fix or change anything.
